|Skill points gained
|Skill points needed
Megaphone is the level 2 Toon-Up gag that is preceded by Feather and succeeded by Lipstick. A Toon obtains the gag by gaining 20 skill points.
- The Toon runs to the center of the Cog battle and brings out a Megaphone.
- The Toon tells a joke through the Megaphone and a laugh track plays.
- Other Toons in battle laugh and gain laff points.
- What goes Ha Ha Ha Thud? Someone laughing his head off.
- What do you get if you cross a germ with a comedian? Sick jokes.
- Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip to outer space? He wanted to find Pluto.
- What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
- What's a polygon? A missing parrot.
- What bird can be heard at mealtimes? A swallow.
- What would you get if you crossed an elephant with a computer? A big know-it-all.
- What's gray and squirts jam at you? A mouse eating a doughnut.
- Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong? Because the other days are weekdays!
- Why didn't the monster make the football team? Because he threw like a ghoul!
- Where did the whale go when it was bankrupt? To the loan shark.
- Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance? Because it was a moth ball.
- What lies on its back 100 feet in the air? A sleeping centipede!
- What's white with black and red spots? A Dalmatian with measles.
- What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? It must be Spring, here comes a swallow.
- What did the appendix say to the kidney? The doctor's taking me out tonight.
- Why are elephants big and gray? Because if they were small and yellow, they'd be canaries.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a canary? A very messy cage.
- Why did Goofy take his comb to the dentist? Because it had lost all its teeth.
- What do you call a blind dinosaur? An I-don't-think-he-saurus.
- What goes Oh, Oh, Oh? Santa walking backwards!
- What do you give an elephant with big feet? Big shoes.
- What do you call a very popular perfume? A best-smeller.
- What do you get if you cross a camera with a crocodile? A snap shot.
- Where does Ariel the mermaid go to see movies? The dive-in.
- Why did the pelican refuse to pay for his meal? His bill was too big.
- What do giraffes have that no other animal has? Baby giraffes.
- What are two things you can't have for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.
- What did the doctor say to the sick orange? Are you peeling well?
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dog? An animal that chases itself.
- Did you hear about the dentist that married the manicurist? Within a month they were fighting tooth and nail.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a crow? Lots of broken telephone poles.
- What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost.
- What did the elephant say to her naughty child? Tusk! Tusk!
- What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A centipede with athlete's foot.
- If athletes get tennis elbow, what do astronauts get? Missile toe.
- What do mermaids have on toast? Mermarlade.
- Why aren't elephants allowed on beaches? They can't keep their trunks up.
- Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
- What do you get if you cross a bear and a skunk? Winnie-the-phew.
- What's a cow after she gives birth? De-calf-inated!
- What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel? Lumpy milk shakes.
- Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
- What do you get if you cross a hyena with a bouillon cube? An animal that makes a laughing stock of itself.
- What do elephants say when they bump into each other? Small world, isn't it?
- Why did the dirty chicken cross the road? For some fowl purpose.
- Why did the burglar take a shower? To make a clean getaway.
- What do you get if you cross a chicken with cement? A brick-layer.
- What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang around while I go on ahead.
- Why did Goofy wear his shirt in the bath? Because the label said wash and wear.
- What do you get if you cross a dog with a phone? A golden receiver.
- My friend thinks he's a rubber band. I told him to snap out of it.
- What's gray, weighs 10 pounds and squeaks? A mouse that needs to go on a diet.
- What did the elephant say to the lemon? Let's play squash.
- What's furry, meows and chases mice underwater? A catfish.
- What goes dot-dot-dash-dash-squeak? Mouse code.
- What travels around the world but stays in the corner? A stamp.
- What has green hair and runs through the forest? Moldy locks.
- What did the stocking say to the shoe? See you later, I gotta run.
- What do you get if you cross a chicken with a banjo? A self-plucking chicken.
- What do frogs like to sit on? Toadstools.
- Why can't you tell a joke to a snake? Because you can never pull their legs.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What's an elephant in a fridge called? A very tight squeeze.
- What did the balloon say to the pin? Hi, Buster.
- Why was the school clock punished? It tocked too much.
- What do you call a sick duck? A mallardy.
- What do you give a pig with a sore throat? Oinkment.
- How does a sick sheep feel? Baah-aahd.
- What did the bee say to the rose? Hi, Bud.
- Why did the apple go out with a fig? Because it couldn't find a date.
- Why did the dog chase his tail? To make ends meet!
- What do you call a duck that robs banks? A safe quacker.
- What do you call a snail on a boat? A snailer!
- What color is a shout? Yellow!
- What works only when it's fired? A rocket.
- Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
- When is the vet busiest? When it's raining cats and dogs.
- What did the big hand say to the little hand? Got a minute?
- What do you get if you cross a railway engine with a stick of gum? A chew-chew train.
- What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
- What's the best way to catch a rabbit? Hide in a bush and make a noise like lettuce.
- What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
- What do you call a spider that just got married? A newly web.
- Why was the math book unhappy? It had too many problems.
- What did the carpet say to the floor? I've got you covered.
- What did the tablecloth say to the table? Don't move, I've got you covered.
- What did the window say to the Venetian blinds? If it wasn't for you, it'd be curtains for me.
- What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too young to smoke.
- Why are false teeth like stars? They come out at night.
- Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie? Because you can see right through him.
- How do trains hear? Through the engineers.
- What's the best parting gift? A comb.
- What's a lazy shoe called? A loafer.
- What did the cashier say to the register? I'm counting on you.
- What has six eyes but cannot see? Three blind mice.
- What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a spider? A hare net.
- What kind of mistakes do spooks make? Boo boos.
- Why did the man hit the clock? Because the clock struck first.
- Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
- What's Tarzan's favorite song? Jungle Bells.
- Why do male deer need braces? Because they have buck teeth!
- Why do elephants wear running shoes? For jogging, of course.
- Why does a sheep have a woolly coat? Because he'd look silly in a plastic one.
- What's the best way to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why did Donald put sugar on his pillow? He wanted to have sweet dreams.
- How do you clean a tuba? With a tuba toothpaste.
- What do you get if you cross a jeweler with a plumber? A ring around the bathtub.
- Why did the archaeologist go bankrupt? Because his career was in ruins.
- Why did the baker stop making doughnuts? He got sick of the hole business.
- Why did the mouse wear brown sneakers? His white ones were in the wash.
- What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats.
- What would you get if you crossed an elephant with a skunk? A big stinker.
- What's green and loud? A froghorn!
- What's in the middle of a jellyfish? A jellybutton.
- What's green and jumps up and down? Lettuce at a dance.
- Why do potatoes argue all the time? They can't see eye to eye.
- How do you keep a bull from charging? Take away his credit card.
- What does a skunk do when it's angry? It raises a stink.
- Why do mummies make excellent spies? They're good at keeping things under wraps.
- Why was Cinderella such a bad player? She had a pumpkin for a coach.
- Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry? They don't want to fly off the handle!
- What's green, noisy and dangerous? A thundering herd of cucumbers.
- What's round, white and giggles? A tickled onion.
- What's green on the outside and yellow inside? A banana disguised as a cucumber.
- What did the digital watch say to the grandfather clock? Look, Dad, no hands.
- Where do ghosts pick up their mail? At the ghost office.
- Did you hear about the man who hated Santa? He suffered from Claustrophobia.
- What do you get if you cross a Cocker Spaniel with a Poodle and a rooster? A cockapoodledoo!
- What goes zzub-zzub? A bee flying backwards.
- Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words.
- What do you give an elephant with big feet? Big shoes.
- What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
- Why do dinosaurs have long necks? Because their feet smell.
- Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party? Because everyone was a goblin!
- What goes ABC...slurp...DEF...slurp? Someone eating alphabet soup.
- What's a funny egg called? A practical yolker!
- What weighs 4 tons, has a trunk and is bright red? An embarrassed elephant.
- What did the flea say to the other flea? Shall we walk or take the cat?
- What's brown, has four legs and a trunk? A mouse coming back from vacation.
- What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
- What lies on its back one hundred feet in the air? A sleeping centipede.
- What did the soil say to the rain? Stop, or my name is mud!
- What do people do in clock factories? They make faces all day.
- What do you get if you cross a plum with a tiger? A purple people eater.
- Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centers.
- What's gray, weighs 200 pounds and says, "Here kitty, kitty?" A 200 pound mouse.
- How do you stop an elephant from going through the eye of a needle? Tie a knot in its tail.
- Where does a peacock go when he loses his tail? A retail store.
- Why did Pluto sleep with a banana peel? So he could slip out of bed in the morning.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant with a shark? Swimming trunks with sharp teeth.
- What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
- What do you get if you cross a hyena with a mynah bird? An animal that laughs at its own jokes!
- What's gray, weighs 4 tons, and wears glass slippers? Cinderelephant.
- What did the ballerina do when she hurt her foot? She called the toe truck!
- Where would you weigh a whale? At a whale-weigh station.
- What do you call a gorilla wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he can't hear you.
- What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.
- What did the necklace say to the hat? You go ahead, I'll hang around.
- Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? His ghoul friend.
- Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food? Because he was a little gobbler.
- Did you hear about the time Goofy ate a candle? He wanted a light snack!
- What needs a bath and keeps crossing the street? A dirty double crosser.
- Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything.
- My sister thinks she's a pair of curtains. I told her to pull herself together!
- What do you call a mosquito with a tin suit? A bite in shining armor.
- What's the best way to save water? Dilute it.
- What did the puddle say to the rain? Drop in sometime.
- If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become? Wet.
- What do you get if you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic? Very wet.
- What do you get when you cross a parrot with a monster? A creature that gets a cracker whenever it asks for one.
- What did Snow White say to the photographer? Someday my prints will come.
- What did the peanut say to the elephant? Nothing -- Peanuts can't talk.
- What does the winner of a marathon lose? His breath.
- What goes tick-tick-tick-woof? A watchdog!
- How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line.
- What do you call a dinosaur that's never late? A prontosaurus.
- Why did the dolphin cross the wave? To get to the other tide.
- What does the sea say to the sand? Not much. It usually waves.
- What's at the end of everything? The letter G.
- What's wrong if you keep seeing talking animals? You're having Disney spells.
- Megaphone is the only gag that makes Toons speak automatically.
- Toons use a similar megaphone for Sound gags.